Gumboot Fan Gifts

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

"Chomp... Chomp... Curry Tree..."

'Okay, on the count of three we fight back. One. . . Two. . .'

"This will sting a bit."

'Excuse me Ma'am, do you mind if I smoke?'

Clown Skis.

"Think about the honey."

Mystery of the Poets

"Is it me, or would a dung beetle taste really good right now?"

"Gotta go, lads, I smell death."

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

Running out of Gas.

'You've got lot toe!'

The hummingbird's hum.

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

"Tell me the truth. . . what happens to all the leftover cake scraps in The Great British Baking Show?"

'That isn't true Mrs. Jones, I can find my ass with both hands. And if you want me to prove it, it'll be $150.00 a day, plus expenses.'

'Disqualified!... He did not yell 'Boing' when he jumped!'

Shoe Whore

A Bug's Life Advice

Spider Exhibit. It says spiders can have hundreds of children at the same time. No wonder they climb the walls! (Published originally on July 23, 2002.)

'I'm fist-bumping all of my patients now, because it spreads fewer germs than a handshake.'

Dashiell Hammett

"That's great for the right foot, now let's look for the left."

What next?!

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack In the Big House

Wait, you took how many steps?

Of course it's all just "busy work." We're bees. That's what we do.

Goldilocks and the three gummi bears

For lunch, Maude bought the duck wrap.

"Me, O-/A+ is my favourite cocktail..."

Ventriloquism for Gummies

'Dude, I think you should cut back on the Gummi worms.'

'All those in favor...'