Gum Tree Gurus T-Shirts

'Due to my dietery constraints, can you please limit your recommendations to countries that have Gum-Trees?'

The Busy Gardener

The Vineyard

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

Homegrown solutions for a smaller carbon footprint.

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

Doing the borders.

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

Allotment

Gardener

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

Horti-Culture

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Florabation - '..mmm...It must be spring!'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

Garden Goddess.

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

Garden.

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

Wordplay: Gastropod.

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

"Which of these will look the prettiest without the others?"

An old man growing berries