Guinness Record Fans Pillows

World record attempt: Most days in a row wearing the same pair of gym socks.

'Wow! That's got to be some sort of record!'

Psychiatrist with bust of Freud

"274 meters of bandage - It looks as though you're going to make the Guiness Book of Records, Mr Henderson!"

"Well, we got the grant."

'The early bird can have the worm as far as I'm concerned -- I'd rather sleep in and then go to McDonald's.'

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

'The early bird can have the worm as far as I'm concerned -- I'd rather sleep in and then go to McDonald's.'

'It's a new medication I'm working on, but the side effects are monsterous.'

Spiders all over the place, "Hello, Guiness book of records?"

"Another world record - it must be faster water."

"George is going for the Guinness World Record for just sitting."

What's a Texas Tommy? A hot dog stuffed with cheese and wrapped in bacon. Little Pete's Sounds great. Does it come with anything? A coronary.

Just a sec – I want to see which wishes get the most likes before I decide.

"It's just like that thing you've got under your bed, only this one is for old people."

Jeepers Creepers Billy, Can you wait until halloween to wear that? You're scaring me half to death.

"Does this hat say 'cosmic terror beyond mortal sanity?'"

St. Patrick's Day

A snowman, Frankenstein's monster and a scarecrow watch a fireplace DVD.

'For a brief time I held the world record for the youngest person on earth.'

A woman opens her washing machine and the missing sock monster climbs out.

"Call me if it gets any bigger"

Cross Platform.

'I think he would have been pleased to know that I got his entire record breaking bungee jump on video.'

"I want to be irresistible to women."

'Face it -- you'll NEVER catch up to Lady Godiva's approval rating.'

Genie lighting his master's cigarette.

Guiness is good for you...

'Wow, that's great! The house rules say pets ain't allowed here!'

"What are we?"

7 Reasons You Might Be Irish. . .

'Hello, Guinness Book of Records, what's the longest recorded sulk?'

Ghost Swing

Captain Pointy No.4 - The terrible Swiss cheese ray

"So what if you're a made man!!"