Record-breaking Fan Pillows

The World's Longest Sandwich.

'Hello, Guinness Book of Records, what's the longest recorded sulk?'

'Red Rover, Red Rover...'

'Wow! That's got to be some sort of record!'

'Sorry about this, but I really need a rug for my bachelor pad.'

"274 meters of bandage - It looks as though you're going to make the Guiness Book of Records, Mr Henderson!"

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

Spiders all over the place, "Hello, Guiness book of records?"

"Another world record - it must be faster water."

'Boy, seven sneezes in a row, that's a record, Julie'

'Don't worry. Big Al will take care of it.'

'For a brief time I held the world record for the youngest person on earth.'

Magical box of chocolates.

Therapist with a jack-o-lantern head talks to their patient who is a witch.

Owl seeing how many times it can twist it's head around - "...14, 15, 16, there goes the record."

"Have you had any sharp, needle-like stabbing pains all over your body lately?"

'Have any of you guys seen a crap magician with a magic top hat?'

Cavemen shoveling out their woolly mammoths, in the same way that modern day drivers are forced to shovel out their cars.

"We have to keep them guessing."

Crowd await return of a round the world yachtsman. PC asks 'Expecting someone, are we?'

'This is a prerecorded message. Thank you for rubbing me. Please state your name and your wish. I will get back to you as soon as possible.'

'Don't be a hero, Dewey! It's a snowboarder - and he's huge! Let's get out of here!!'

Pioneers Of AviationOctober 21, 1913 Major C. Peter Barry Breaks The Scarf Barrier

"Get Doc Weston and tell him I have a fever and to come over quick. We have a show to do tonight."

"The suspect is roughly 55 feet tall and quite possibly green."

'Face it -- you'll NEVER catch up to Lady Godiva's approval rating.'

'I think he would have been pleased to know that I got his entire record breaking bungee jump on video.'

'Your'e going to meet a tall, dark, stranger.'

A hungry giant tricking innocent skiers.

"So...you drive stick."