Guinea Pig For Diets Gifts

'Try this diet and if it works, I'll try it!'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

Before/After

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

Vegetarian Nightmare.

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

"I can't have anything that's a food."

'It's good that you're taking vitamins... but you need to stop BUTTERING them.'

'It counts as one of your five portions a day.'

Experimental Free Range Guinea Pigs For Sale.

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

I've been on this green leafy diet for months...

Pigeon Master

'I'll have a BLT sandwich -- hold the 'B'.'

'Fad diet. The weight will come right back.'

'First, wool. Then, lamb chops, Now they've got us creating antibiotics for them.'

'It's important to watch the amount of iron in his diet, too much and he'll only point north.'

Wife to husband about pigs in kitchen: 'Sometimes I wish you weren't the county's champion hog caller.'

'Uh... did you say you are on a lead diet?' 'Dude... it's all natural!'

The little-known guinea pig gauchos of the western Andes.

"I don't eat meat or fish, so I can't tell you much about the specials."

'Guess who made it through the winter?'

Mature Cat Formula.

"Our menu is divided into three sections... low carb, low sodium and WTF!"

'Between you and me, I'm fed up being a guinea pig.'

'Guinea pig - without whose help...'

'Imprisoned for life? Are you sure?'

'I'm de-toxing my bookshelves.'

Having been banned from playing with toy guns, Billy improvises.

"I must not eat pies off the path, I must not eat pies off the path..."

"Frankly, I'm pretty satisfied with my diet."

"It's lactose-free! It's chemistry-free! It's free from animal by-products! It's the milk without milk!!!"