Guilt Whisperer Pillows

'Aack! Four star guilt!!'

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

His New Grillfriend

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

He doesn't howl at the moon. He prefers to howl into the void.

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

"I'll check and see if he's available."

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

"If obsessing about trash is wrong, then. . . I don't wanna be right."

Two 'superheros' show the discrepancy in toilet paper production.

"Ok, you were right – dogs can see ghosts."

"Please....wait...the...meeting...host...will....let you...in....soon."

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

"Ever killed a man?"

"You're on mute."

Cemetery: Communicated with your loved one see Madam Zolta within.

'Ach, Herr Scrooge - ghost of this, ghost of that...serious delusions.'

"Your wife says she's been watching you, and there are a lot of things you need to work on."

"I'm getting your dear, departed husband—he can't believe you paid forty-five dollars for this."

"Joe, is that you? Can you really hear me? What's the password for the email?"

"...The Spirits are out at the moment, but if you'd like to leave a message...."

Is this Seat Taken?

Caterpillar Paranoia

"Well, well – if it isn't the old crystal ball and chain."

"Is there anybody there..?" Knock once for 'yes' and twice for 'no'..."

"I have grave news."

"It's your mother. She wants to know why you never summon her."

"Hi darling - I've just come back for my iphone...!"

"I have eight spirits coming through."