Guilt Ridden Gifts

'I have not been able to sleep knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. I'll give you £200. If I still can't sleep, I will send you the rest.'

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

'I'm fat, I eat too much and my blood pressure is high. . . Have a beer and some chips but feel guilty about it.'

'Just stop listening to Public Broadcasting, and your guilt complex should clear right up!'

My Gay Son Never Calls

"Is it me, or does the old man still look angry at us for denting his Cadillac?"

Bad Mom Cards - Collect The Whole Set!

Theories Of Everything: 'Everything would be perfect if I had a dirt bike.'

Introducing...Superegoman!

Will assuage guilt for money.

'Part of me wants to get caught. I need to get in touch with that part and beat the hell out of it.'

'The dietary exchange for this food is 3 days of unrelenting remorse.'

Dads.

'I know I'm just a weather reporter, doc, but I feel guilty every time it rains.'

'If he starts to pet you excessively whilst she's shouting it usually means he's feeling guilty.'

'Wait a minute -- you did all this stuff in a VIDEO GAME?'

"Do you really need a resource-sucking, ozone-depleting, planet-killing bag?"

Me On A Diet: "I should not be eating this!"

"This is a charity calling. Please stay on the line for the voice of human kindness."

'Every time I come here, it ends up a guilt trip.'

'I used to be ambitious, but I find it easier to feel guilty about lack of ambition.'

'Aack! Four star guilt!!'

"Whenever I watch the Nature Channel I get survivor's guilt."

'I've given up smoking, become vegetarian, use only environmentally friendly aerosols, vote Green, use unleaded petrol, but I STILL feel guilty...'

"Who broke my St. Pius figurine?"

"Okay, I feel guilty...you're reading and I'm watching TV."

Man on diet fealing guilty

"You broke the window, huh?"

"Wow - I didn't know you could put that much guilt into one sentence."

"Think of how ashamed they'd be if they knew their Father hogged the restroom key."