Guilt Pondering Philosopher Gifts

"Whenever I watch the Nature Channel I get survivor's guilt."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Chiller Theatre

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

George Orwell

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"Is this who I am?"

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

"I cross the road to forget."

Non Thought For The Day.

'If someone farts in the forest and there's no one around to smell it, does it make a stink?'

'Dad, what is peace?'

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

"She can forgive Nixon, but she can't forgive me."

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

"Don’t think of that tennis ball as lost. Think of it as finally free."

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

"If there is a heaven, why do we end up as fossil fuel?"

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

How did life begin? Image shows a strand of dna in the form of a question mark (with a single cell as the dot, floating in water or primeval soup). The image also refers to life beyond the earth, with the cell-like blobs resembling galaxies in outer space

"I could have been a big celebrity but for my fear of public speaking."

Understanding art.

"Never mind 'what does it all mean?' What does anything mean?"

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'

'I could have made money in the stock market if I had only found the right 'How to invest' book...'

"I'd let you in, but I'm not sure I'm all here today"