Guilt Enthusiasts Pillows

Theories Of Everything: 'Everything would be perfect if I had a dirt bike.'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'I'm not motivated by profit, Henderson - I'm motivated by excessive profit.'

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

"I'm a monster."

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

Golf escape.

"Remember me? I'm your running shoes. Remember what running is?"

'Just stop listening to Public Broadcasting, and your guilt complex should clear right up!'

"We always see a spike after April 15th."

'We'll parachute in and surprise them with their sales award.'

Revenge of the Mallards.

Mouse Dentist Removes Cat's Teeth.

'Todd had this ridiculous dream of starting his own business. So glad I dumped that loser.'

"When I think about my mom, it hurts here."

"I had his name spelled wrong on purpose. It will drive him mad ...forever!"

"This advice column is the worst trash I've ever read! And I should know! I've been reading it every day for the past 20 years!"

Putting Sugar in the Gas Tank.

'I really enjoyed that, but if anyone ask, don't you dare tell them we watched it.'

Satan Fast Food

"Hello, Sir! Remember me? You were always putting me in detention. . . Would you like to order now?"

"It's deliciously trashy."

"Guess how I got even with the telecommunications industry today."

"That does it! I'm going on a diet! Baldo, hide these pastries where I can't find them."

'You know it's true what they say, Larry: Hell hath no fury like a potato scorned.'

"He stole my heart, I stole his wallet. – Now that's what I call vengeance."

Miracle: Walking on Water

"How long are you going to do this?"

Things I should be proud of - but am not. Things I shouldn't be proud of - but am.

"When I return to public office, some people had better watch out."

"Who broke my St. Pius figurine?"