Guest-welcoming Pro Gifts

A surprise visit

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

Office Park

"Why on earth do you insist on coming to this miserable, isolated, rocky, small island every year to roost? It's covered in guano! Disgusting..."

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

"This should be cozy. Just let me know if you need an extra sousaphone."

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

'Oh, that's Corky's way of saying hello.'

'Another artisanal B&B.'

'Why is it when ever we have guests, you have to go and make a scene?'

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

'Brew?'

'Sales has challenged us to a snowball fight.'

'I don't think they are playing with a full deck.'

I see from this you were very good at organising office parties.

"Why can't you ever be serious?"

'Good luck with the presentation dear and I still think it would be better without the hat.'

"Congratulations on opening night."

'Is he expecting you?'

'What do you mean you 'don't like curry'?!!'

'Joan of Arc is visiting - make sure all the toilet seats are down.

"Have some more tea, Mrs. Van Sickleford. Wendell is going to show you his mastodon tusk."

'Have you referred to my previous boss?' - 'Yes, he wants to know when you are going to return the coffee money.'

Business Slides.

'Roger hates goodbyes.'

'Keep carving, there are still a few identifiable parts.'

Extreme Accounting!

'Thank you for folding up the sleeper sofa, Dear. Have you seen Mother?'

"Hi, it's us, Sue and Dave, from the Tenerife in '4. You said we were welcome to come and stay anytime."

'Oognik! -- If I'd known you were coming, I'd have harpooned a whale!'

'Will you knock it off. Your set wasn't that bad.'

"We can people-watch. Although, when does people-watching become ogling?"

'Of course you can't sit there, there's no room, can't you see that... some people!'

"It's been nice talking to you, but I should probably get back to staring blankly ahead."