Guest List Humor Gifts

St Peter: 'The bike can stay. You, on the other hand, aren't on the list.'

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

'If your name's not on the Liszt, you're not coming in.'

'Very funny!'

'Isn't this cast great? Dr. Emily's minor was sculpture in college!'

Mouse real estate!

Bed and Breakfast

'They're pinching my toes!'

'Why is it when ever we have guests, you have to go and make a scene?'

Now you can buy shares online. "Buy Cher's What?"

'I'm getting really tired of your friend crashing here every night!'

Jack Frost's To Dew List: Trees, grass, leaves, windows, cars.

J. J. Abrams

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'

'I take it you're new to painting miniatures?'

Subway. This headline says "New Home Construction Falls." That's ambiguous. It's either economic data or a report about builders doing shoddy work.

"Evenin' gents - what's yer poison..?"

'You really don't get this 'going clubbing' thing ... '

"Sorry kiddo, I might be a "Magical Creature", but I don't know any magic trick..."

Dirty Harry

'...And no salesman will call -- You may, however, find yourself on a bunch of whacky mailing lists.'

Trump - The curly years

You'd better hope PETA doesn't find out you've got me working up here without a net.

Coffee Table Remote Controls

I had hoped to file a missing persons report by now, but he won't leave.

'Why do we always talk about this stuff?'

"I wonder if Eminem would like to come and have a go at our neighbours..."

'You were lucky to catch us in - we didn't know you were coming!'

'Ever get the feeling we've overstayed our welcome?'

A shedding cat applies for a room.

"Well,that must be a television FIRST-Delia Smith BURNING a roast!!!'

One for my baby.

Strip club.

Elsie had an answer for everything.

"We're americans, so the room's great, the cockroaches just up and went!"