Guardians Of The Galaxy Gifts

'...and please God, protect the social security fund for another sixty years.'

dog vs UFO...

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

The Bearskin Hat Family

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

"Huddleston, I admire your hands-on approach to everything, but get the hell out of my office!"

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

Save our Planet.

'And so thanks to my dad's waistline I now understand the theory of our constantly expanding universe!'

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

Dad Planet: 'Hey you KIDS! I thought i said no ORBITING in the house!'

"Do you think there is life on other plants?"

Bleak House

'I could have sworn I put those moon rocks in my pocket...'

You have a lot of patients coming to your for counseling! Yeah, I just saw a supernova who is dealing with burnout. Later, I'll see Pluto about his inferiority complex and a black hole who wants to fill a void in its life. Then Hailey's Comet and his wife will discuss why he's rarely there for her. Since your practice went universal it just keeps expanding! You're so busy! Yeah, my head is spinning!

'It's good to see Dad keeping his mind active.'

Getting to Know You

"I've been recalled, the defibrillator just kicked in."

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

"Anything you say, Mr. Einstein, can be used to explain the origin of the universe."

Expanding Sun engulfs Planets

"Hey, universe! I'm significant and I'm in charge!"

Bug to bug: 'Do you think there is life on other plants?'

"Are you sure they'll be able to read English?"

Your angel is always with you

"That's good for the budget. We don't have to exterminate the humans to conquer the earth. They'll take care of that themselves."

"Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?"

"Hurry children, space is limited!"

I don't care if you did win the bloody X-Factor. You're dealing with the H-Factor here.

'Well, don't look at me!'

'I've located the source of all that annoying spam we've been receiving...preparing to destroy.'

"This looks like a good planet for fly-tipping."