Guardian Of Goodies Gifts

"OK, I'm a lousy guard dog and I let the robbers distract me with food, but it was not a mere bone: It was apple pie!"

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

The Bearskin Hat Family

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

J. Wilbert Dentist - Sorry We're Open

'Poor thing. He got left out in the acid rain.'

"Mom, Suzy keeps coming closer than 6 feet to me."

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

'I fell out of my treestand but fortunately nothing got hurt.'

'Polly wants a machine gun.'

'Ok...something, but nothing you'd care about. Honest!'

"Guard coming."

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

See, no monster under your bed

"The food must be good here. Look at the drool on the menus."

'Because I paid ten bucks for that lure, that's why.'

"P..P..Please! Just leave me alone!!"

"Police. Nobody move or groove."

GarGoalies.

Memory Clinic: Today's Special - Passwords.

'Hey! Who picked out all the odds!'

"Who let the dog get into the chocolate?"

"Too righteous?"

'One day we're all spooking and cool...and just like that, we're out on the curb.'

"Ciel! Supergastronome!"

Keeper ready to save fishing man from the water

"Chef, the salads are ready, the meat is seasoned, and you're washing your hands in the soup."

'He won't hurt you - just don't make any sudden moves.'

'Officer, I think that young man is trying to steal that old lady'

Watchdog Maddoff Type Fraud Schemes.

'I'm afraid neither of my parents are at home... Are they Dad? '

Beware Electric Fence.

"You can always tell the pediatricians."

'I saw him first!'

'The head of the house is out, but I can handle any crank calls.'