Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Fruit Guardian Gifts
Celebrating someone who sees themselves as the fruit guardian? Our collection offers witty and delightful items that honor their dedication to keeping fruits safe and fresh. Perfect for fruit enthusiasts and protective personalities alike, these unique gifts will bring a smile and a touch of humor to any fruit lover’s day.
"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"
'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'
What the Doctor Ordered
"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."
"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."
The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.
'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'
Garden Gnome fishing all the fish for pond.
"Smokey The Tree"
"I know we got early to catch him...but he looks so cute I just can't eat him!"
"Did I show you my new climbing hydrangea plants, Mr. Fessler?... Mr. Fessler?"
The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."
Tarzan of the Grapes.
Bumble Bee
'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'
Newton forgets gravity, discovers delicious apple
Large, wrinkly
Tree Passion
Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.
Biodiversity
"Prepare to meet your maker."
'What are you eating now?'
The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.
"Peach fuzz. How does a nectarine know when it reaches puberty?"
'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'
A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.
'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'
'I prefer the term 'mobile home'.'
Vegetarian Birthdays.
'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'
Apricots
"Relax. They're just crows."
"You see? I told you if we tied ourselves to this tree they wouldn't cut it down. Persistence is the name of the game. Persistence."
"Hahahaha doctor, I guess I'll see you in a week
Fruit Guardian Gifts Collection
Fruit Guardian Mugs
Explore our collection of fruit guardian mugs—perfect for anyone who loves a good laugh with their morning coffee or tea.
Fruit Guardian Pillows
Brighten their home with fun and protective flair—our fruit guardian pillows bring personality and humor to any space.
Fruit Guardian Prints
Decorate with a smile using our playful fruit guardian prints—great for any fruit enthusiast’s wall or workspace.
Fruit Guardian T-Shirts
Discover humorous fruit guardian t-shirts that let them wear their passion and playful spirit with pride.