Grumpy Vibe Appreciator Pillows

Never Satisfied.

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

'Why do they call these conventions when everyone here is so unconventional?'

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

"He's So Your Type."

Grumpy old merry men.

"Don't worry, he's improving. We'll have him up and cursing the government again."

"You have the Hum bug.'

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

'Oooh, looks like the welcome wagon is on its way!'

Grumpy Old Men

'I know how you feel.'

'Self-help books for cynics'

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

"He might be moody, but he's the best in the city...and worth every penny!"

'Kids get right up my nose!'

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

"He's learning how to mutter in Spanish

Uncle Murray Weekly

"Is everything okay, dear? You're smiling!"

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'

"It's armageddon week on TV. The death of hope always lightens his mood."

Bakery Window: Cross Buns and Cross Gingerbread Men!

'I've had it with your bright, sunny, upbeat...'

'Be advised, Monday through Thursday I don't do 'perky'.'

"Everything okay, Wilson?"

'I see your Alan's got his Christmas face on again.'