Grumpy Partner Pillows

"Don't even try to talk to me until I've had my moldy coffee filters."

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

Old Man Journal

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

"You have a certain kind of charm, haven't you, Mr. Beadle? Well, that's all right. I'm not totally opposed to charm."

"Oh my God with the singing!"

Grumpy Old Men

"I want some flowers that say 'Here, have some friggin' flowers.'"

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

"To be perfectly honest, Tarquin, I get fed up listening to your stories about 'the good old days'."

'Kids get right up my nose!'

"Being in the now today sure ain't like the good ol' now!"

'FQ...?'

"Stop moaning - you'll ruin our weekend away..."

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

"Knock it off, will you, Tom? I've had a lousy day."

'The problem with politics is politicians!'

'Did he just flip me the feeding fish?'

Moan Pig.

Grumpy old men: I was an nwanted child, even my mother left me before I was born.

'I've had it with your bright, sunny, upbeat...'

Pissed-off hour.

'Mrs Gridlington doesn't like being referred to as 'duck' or 'dearie'...so I just call her 'the old trout'!'

Have A Nice Day (piss off)

Matched pair

"I'm way past mid-life crisis and knee-deep in old age rage!"

'Always arguing, questioning, no patience, no respect for authority...'

'Well, Mr. Grumpy, who got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?'

'Looks like somebody woke up on the wrong side of the street this morning.'

'I see your Alan's got his Christmas face on again.'

"Another p**s and vinegar?"

"So when, exactly, did you plan on cleaning all this crap up?"