Grumpy Grandpa Fans Pillows

"Meals on wheels? More like muck on a truck"

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"I don't care if we did hibernate all Winter, I'm still tired."

"Don't worry, he's improving. We'll have him up and cursing the government again."

"You have the Hum bug.'

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

Grumpy Old Men

'Kids get right up my nose!'

'It's not just drugs - Fenton has zero tolerance for everything!'

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

'Child resistant cap'

Early season snow and the following thaw got all the snowmen grumbling...

"I'm sixty-six – I don't want to see puppets in anything."

"He's angry about getting old."

'Mrs Gridlington doesn't like being referred to as 'duck' or 'dearie'...so I just call her 'the old trout'!'

'Your dad can't go on there-the miserable git hasn't got any friends to phone!'

'I see your Alan's got his Christmas face on again.'

Bad King Wenceslas

"OK. You're the Ghost of Christmas Present. Quite amusing. Now go away!"

'I'm not here!'

"The tests show you have an overactive grumpy gene."

Middle aged people are often very grumpy.

'First time grandfather hey! Me, I'm a great great great great great great great great grandfather...'

Callers of an impatient or grumpy disposition may widh to hang up at this stage.

"Another p**s and vinegar?"

The Sour Grapes and its 'Happy Hour' Ban.

"I'll have a nice day when I get damn good and ready."

"Look. I'll get to your problem as soon as it coincides with my problem."

"Do we really want to spend our golden years judging people who buy the fancy-pants coffee drinks?"

'You're ticking me off!'