Grumpy Grandparent Pillows

'I'm not here!'

"Not coming then? You wouldn't even come to your own funeral, you!"

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

The Busy Gardener

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

Madonna of the Pukes.

The Zoo.

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

"Look Mommy, hat!"

The Baby Walker

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

'Ahhh...'

'I told you it would be useful.'

Paul Klee

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

My First Camera

Baby Piano

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.