Grumpiness Buster Pillows

'Oh that?... It has nothing to do with the formula; it just makes the whole thing seem less grumpy.'

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

'Why am I such a grouch?'

'Cheer up...'

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

Middle age means a constant struggle not to be irritated by everyone and everything.

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

'See, it's right here in the prenup. Just because I rise, it doesn't necessarily mean I have to shine.'

I HATE STUFF

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

Uncle Murray Weekly

"Is everything okay, dear? You're smiling!"

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

"But a deep sense of grievance and indignation IS my Happy Place."

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'

"Knock it off, will you, Tom? I've had a lousy day."

It was only a matter of time until Gertrude turned into a grumpy cat.

Moan Pig.

'Be advised, Monday through Thursday I don't do 'perky'.'

'Face it Marvin, you're a madstrom of conflicting emotions.'

'Don't you snap at me, mister!'

'Dinner.'

Grumpy Moody Boy.

"I'm sorry, Harold is resting at the moment. He's been trying to be amicable all day."

'Dear, your father is just a big crab these days.'

'You'll love Elliot, Father, He despises everyone even more than you do!'

"It's too cold in here. The boss is a jerk. My feet hurt."

"Irritable bowls syndrome."

Why weathermen are forced to retire at 55.