Grump Charmers Pillows

'Is the hose pipe ban still on?'

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

Broken Alarm Clock.

You have the worst spring breath.

"He was a grouch when I met him. It was love at first gripe."

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

'I hate surprises!'

'Misery is sleeping in late on Saturday morning then realizing it's only Wednesday...'

I am coffee and I need more coffee

Buzz. Go away. Buzz buzz. I'm up! The alarm clock always wants it more than you do.

"I much prefer the evening milking to the morning one: The farmer is not a "morning person", now is he?"

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

'You only love me because you haven't got a boyfriend!'

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

The morning show for people who HATE mornings

'If you get one who refuses to wake up, pour it in his lap.'

I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I hate everything in the morning.

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A Garden Part 2

"Here! Drink your coffee... Honestly, you can be such a bear in the morning!"

"Dang it."

Alarm clock.

"Mummy's a bit grisly in the mornings. But after something to eat and a little nap, she's quite pleasant."

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

"And a 'good morning' to you, too"

"I told the carol singers where to go in no uncertain terms, so that's saved us some money!"

Time stood still – which made it an easy target.

"He just woke up from hibernation."

'Sounds like someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.' 'Ahhhhhh!'

'Honey, remind me why we switched to decaf.'

"And to my brother, who I promised to mention in my will, 'Hi Grumpy'!"