Gaming Grump Pillows

'It's like a penalty shoot-out, only when it's my turn the ball morphs into a balloon!'

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

Broken Alarm Clock.

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

"He was a grouch when I met him. It was love at first gripe."

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

"Wait, I've got sand in my shoe."

'Why am I such a grouch?'

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

'Misery is sleeping in late on Saturday morning then realizing it's only Wednesday...'

I am coffee and I need more coffee

Grumpy old merry men.

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

"I much prefer the evening milking to the morning one: The farmer is not a "morning person", now is he?"

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

'If you get one who refuses to wake up, pour it in his lap.'

Grumpy Old Men

I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I hate everything in the morning.

'Cheer up...'

The morning show for people who HATE mornings

"Dang it."

Alarm clock.

'Self-help books for cynics'

'Kids get right up my nose!'