Gadget Grump Pillows

"Why can't they be satisfied with a simple checkout scanner?!"

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Grandma's caf

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

"He was a grouch when I met him. It was love at first gripe."

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

"Wait, I've got sand in my shoe."

"Mummy's a bit grisly in the mornings. But after something to eat and a little nap, she's quite pleasant."

"I told the carol singers where to go in no uncertain terms, so that's saved us some money!"

'Please don't say a word to me until my coffee gets right...about...here.

"And to my brother, who I promised to mention in my will, 'Hi Grumpy'!"

Helen's husband is an old grump, too.

'Face it Marvin, you're a madstrom of conflicting emotions.'

'It's like a penalty shoot-out, only when it's my turn the ball morphs into a balloon!'

So much to be cross about, so little time.

'What are you annoyed about now?'

"Sorry, my mind was wandering. Were we complaining about today's youth, the government or the weather?"

"I hope you realize this is bad feng shui!"

Crappy Diem

"Just because you don't die doesn't mean your phone battery doesn't. You actually have to charge it."

"Mr. Stephenson is the subject of a widely anticipated obituary."

"Harold doesn't believe in smiling."

"Mostly, he was just puttering, but now he's also muttering."

"All done with that holiday spirit for another year, are we dear?"

"Don't get smart with me!"

Fussbudget 1989

'To me being crabby is an art form.'

'Is that the picky eater website?'

Moaning makes you a magnet for other moaners..

Christmas - Let's get it over with.

'You can always count on Walter to make the worst of a good situation.'

Crusty old Bachelor on Christmas Day

"Have you got anything for a miserable old codger who hates Christmas and everything to do with it."