Grump Appreciation Society Gifts

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A Garden Part 2

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

"He was a grouch when I met him. It was love at first gripe."

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

'I hate surprises!'

"You have the Hum bug.'

"Here! Drink your coffee... Honestly, you can be such a bear in the morning!"

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

"Mummy's a bit grisly in the mornings. But after something to eat and a little nap, she's quite pleasant."

"And to my brother, who I promised to mention in my will, 'Hi Grumpy'!"

"Is everything okay, dear? You're smiling!"

Uncle Murray Weekly

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

Helen's husband is an old grump, too.

I HATE STUFF

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

'What are you annoyed about now?'

So much to be cross about, so little time.

Crappy Diem

"I hope you realize this is bad feng shui!"

Whine Country Tours.

"Mr. Stephenson is the subject of a widely anticipated obituary."

"Mostly, he was just puttering, but now he's also muttering."

"Bah, humbug! It's not just for Christmas anymore."

"Harold doesn't believe in smiling."

"All done with that holiday spirit for another year, are we dear?"

Fussbudget 1989

'To me being crabby is an art form.'

The Church of the Wholly Cross

Callers of an impatient or grumpy disposition may widh to hang up at this stage.

"Working with older people is part of the job!"

'You can always count on Walter to make the worst of a good situation.'

Perfect sincerity; or, tinkings aloud No. I - Bachelor who dislikes children tells a mother that he will not leave her son anything just because he is named after him