Grump Appreciation Society Gifts

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

"He was a grouch when I met him. It was love at first gripe."

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

"You have the Hum bug.'

"Here! Drink your coffee... Honestly, you can be such a bear in the morning!"

"Mummy's a bit grisly in the mornings. But after something to eat and a little nap, she's quite pleasant."

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

"And to my brother, who I promised to mention in my will, 'Hi Grumpy'!"

Helen's husband is an old grump, too.

I HATE STUFF

Uncle Murray Weekly

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

"Is everything okay, dear? You're smiling!"

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

So much to be cross about, so little time.

"I hope you realize this is bad feng shui!"

'What are you annoyed about now?'

Crappy Diem

"Mr. Stephenson is the subject of a widely anticipated obituary."

"Harold doesn't believe in smiling."

"Bah, humbug! It's not just for Christmas anymore."

"Mostly, he was just puttering, but now he's also muttering."

"All done with that holiday spirit for another year, are we dear?"

Fussbudget 1989

Callers of an impatient or grumpy disposition may widh to hang up at this stage.

'To me being crabby is an art form.'

"Working with older people is part of the job!"

'You can always count on Walter to make the worst of a good situation.'

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

"Your father's in a good mood. He's declined 3 friend requests this morning."