Growing Up In A Big Family Gifts

'There are so many kids in my family that I can only get 'hand-me-downs'...'

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

The No No No's

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

Grounded

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

'Okay mum, I'll eat it all up. But I doubt I'll grow big and strong on this muck!'

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

'Son, the world is ripe for the taking ... you better stay home with me.'

'Dad, I know all about the birds and the bees; explain stock-swaps and derivatives.'

"Mom said eat everything in moderation, so I renamed the cookie jar 'Moderation.'"

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

"You used to be a lot more fun."

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

"Having a cat will prepare us for having a teenager one day."

'Wow Dad, I'm growing fast: Soon, my tongue will be as long as yours...'

'I can change! I swear!'

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

"You give the tooth fairy your teeth, and she gives you some money. It's called reverse mortgage."

Maternity ward: 'Oh boy - stereo!'

"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

"The time has come to talk of many things; of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of double-entry bookkeeping, too."

A father of three

'We think he has a future in politics.'

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'

'If he hasn't got a name yet, how do we know he's ours?'

"Mommy is having another baby. Let me assure you that any paradigm shift will be incremental, core values remain family-centric, and Mommy is committed to assimilation and building synergy."

"No need to push, Mother—I'm going."

To prevent Christmas git opening from being over in a flash, the Wagner kids were required to use only their feet.