Struggling With Large Family Gifts

'No more kids, Steve -- I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.'

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

"The sellers had a lot of kids, so they got tired of running out of hot water. So they upgraded."

'He's a son-of-a-bitch but he's our son-of-a-bitch!'

"Your daughter called—you promised to play phone tag with her today."

"When my Tia Maggie got married, she wanted 8 kids...and her husband wanted 2 kids."

"Amazing how having a six month old baby can motivate you to stay at the office for 16 hours a day!"

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

A bit of Tennyson for you Dad: 'In spring a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love.'

"We shouldn't have had so many kids. Now they all want computers and phones."

"Down in front!"

A dog is for life, not just for Covid.

'Should I have a baby after 35?' 'Isn't 35 children enough?'

'Did you feel that??'

"Don't get me wrong, I love my mistress, but there are 27 of us, so I like to get away now and then to get some privacy..."

Doggy $100 and don't ask again.

'He happened to swallow Junior's helium balloon!'

'You can't have another baby, we've got no space for another name!'

"At least when it comes to Mother of the Year - you're a shoe-in."

Wife and 6 Kids to Support

"He was in my price range, 'Free to a good home'."

'We are looking for a bigger place to accommodate our extended family.'

"You moving back in hasn't been a picnic for us, either. I can't wait until you have adult children of your own."

'I say thank goodness for public education: With so many kids, there's no way we could afford private school fees...'

"Guys, if you're taking your baby in the living room, please use a coaster."

Changes at Home

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

"Don't feel bad Rex: desperate measures for desperate times! That new trumpet of Young Master had to disappear..."

'As if raising lots of kids was not hard enough financially: Now, they all want mobile phones...'

'Why aren't you out moonlighting?'

'There are so many kids in my family that I can only get 'hand-me-downs'...'

"The bills! The bills!"