Group Behavior Gifts

"The unlucky lemming"

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

Police Feline Unit

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"Why do they do that?"

"No no, I said sit!!"

Santa Claus's Mail

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"The meeting will come to order."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

Cats may love you, but dogs go all the way.

"It get it – you're hungry."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'