Organizational Behavior Gifts

"Encouraging dissent is a good way of finding out who the traitors are."

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.

'I think I've spotted our problem.' (too many consultants)

'He takes his organization chart seriously.'

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

The Department of People waiting for Something to Happen...

"Now that you are all my little drones, I encourage you to speak my mind."

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Corporate thinks it's time we updated our motivational strategies."

"The meeting will come to order."

'Looks like Kryson is no longer in the inner circle.'

'...in conclusion, we're in the wrong meeting room.'

'It's time for your annual carrot re-evaluation.'

'...I need you to find out what it is we do.'

"Openness and transparency are a big part of our corporate mythos."

'I think we should form a committee to look into this 'individual initiative' thing.'

Bob is worried about violating the chain of command.

Manager: Do Not Disturb.

"You're not thinking of challenging the pack order, are you Bob?"

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"

"Okay, so I've outgrown my niche in Organizational Behavior. I'll re-niche."

"'Statistics will prove anything' is right, Carruthers. They prove you screwed up."

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

"Nobody is to blame until we pick someone."

"It looks like the 'because I say so' has it."

Speed of assimilation VS New team members

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

"This position has become very important to the company."

'This book says there's a point where downsizing your management staff becomes 'dumbsizing.''

'I'm sorry, but there's just no room in the budget for upward mobility... We're all making sacrifices...After all, I haven't been promoted in over twenty years.'

'He runs a marvelously disciplined corporation.'

'We all make mistakes, Hawkins, and when we do, I'm glad I have you, my subordinate, to take the blame for mine.'

'Jones, I don't like you because it's so hard to find something to blame you for!'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'