Group Behavior Pillows

"The unlucky lemming"

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

Police Feline Unit

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"Why do they do that?"

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

Santa Claus's Mail

"No no, I said sit!!"

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"The meeting will come to order."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"It get it – you're hungry."

Cats may love you, but dogs go all the way.

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

Romantic Giraffes

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"