Groundhog Gigglers Pillows

"Shadow? Why would I be scared of my shadow? I thought it was the IRS."

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

Extremely Practical Jokes.

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

'Gee, where are all the crowds this year?'

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

'Oh yeah? Well I'm not crazy about your humming, either!'

"Oh, don't mind us. We boo everybody."

"You ghosts are pretty cool. I wish I could be more like you..."

Never mind spring. What do you predict for the economy?

'It's my first attempt at gardening but so far I've learned...'

"How much of this stuff can I eat before it can no longer be returned?"

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'

"It doesn't work on geese."

"Where do you see yourself in five years."

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

Ghosts save on electrical & plumbing maintenance costs because they don't need easy access to the inside of walls.

'If we had any guts we'd get out of here!'

'What a Neanderthal! Ork doesn't know his putter from his driver.'

"Honest Dad, I was going to mow the lawn... But I can't find the lawnmower in here!"

'Personal?...No, I assure you, my relationship with God is strictly professional.'

Ghost Playing Cello

Groundhog Day

"WHOA! It's the spirit of Uncle Larry!"

'I'm sorry, but you're just too tall to make it in the ballet world.'

"Yes, David, this day I do see a shadow. But it is the shadow of regret- of the rodent I could have been- yea, the haunting shadow of my own mortality."

Spiritualist Society Parking

'Now THAT'S just showing off!'

Boo-gle.

'Take a piece of candy and a tax form. The treat is a gratuity and therefore reportable income.'