Grooming Neglecter Gifts

"I'd really let myself go. I hadn't shaved in days."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

Braiding a Horse's Tail

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Lesser known greek gods,

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

Bathing the dog

"Too much concealer?"

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Emergency Hipster Beard

"Be creative...!"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Dating is so expensive...

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

"Absolutely not!"

Dogs shaving

'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

'I'm not in shock, my eyebrows are just receding with my hairline.'

General Meade's Army, Near Culpepper - Shaving in Camp

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

'That'll be four thousand and eighty pounds please'

"Actually, I think you looked better WITH a beard."

Why Poodles Become Killers

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

Movember