Groom-to-be Giggles Gifts

Pachelbel at weddings

Beware of the Dog Hair.

Wedding Fayre

Speech

"Till death us do part? Don't be so bloody morbid!"

'We've postponed the wedding until we come up with something we can do at the ceremony that will become a viral video.'

Bride with a ventriloquist's dummy.

'We like to find just the right slot for our people.'

'I still say it was a mistake having the ceremony TOO close to his stag night!'

The Aisle

'If anyone objects to this union, Tweet now or forever hold your peace.'

'Jim called to say he apologizes to you and the 300 guests, but he'll have to marry you next week instead. He totally forgot he made plans to go to a boat show this weekend.'

"That's great that you're on 8 different social media sites, but how are you at bank reconciliations, accounts payable, and working?"

"You've done it, Martin - you've taught him to smile!"

"I can't believe I just paid that guy 160 bucks to tell me 'happy wife, happy life'."

"I had the strangest dream. I was suddenly in a room full of people, and I didn't have a stitch on."

'I hope you don't mind carpooling.'

'Darling...our first audit!'

'I'm not sure that mentioning your diploma in 'Monkey Business' really helps your resume...'

What's the matter, baby? Henry says he's an atheist, Mum. He doesn't believe in hell. Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is.

IRS, 'Sorry, but you can't count them as dependents before they hatch.'

Just married.

'... blast off!... Uh-oh. Houston, we have a problem.'

"I now pronounce you man and wife... Would you be interested in purchasing a maintenance agreement?"

"... Till death us do part."

'I'm on my way!'

"It's a pregnancy stick...guess what?"

Groom's a Workaholic

'I always lose weight in the wrong places.'

"Well it's not a spider wriggling and tiggling inside you."

'You think you're so clever don't you...you thought you could get past our recruitment safeguards...'

"Wow, you're right. That is a serious flea infestation!"

"Sex, good lord! But everyone told me you were only marrying me for my money!"

'I'm sorry, Ma'am, but we don't do bridal showers.'

"You've been playing with the controls, haven't you. . .?"