Grocery Gnomes Pillows

"I hate when stores change things around - the cheese was always in this aisle."

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

Show and Tell.

Watering the garden gnome

The Perfect Garden.

"I see you've brought your own bag."

"Ohh darling - how lovely..!!"

Bird sees coo coo bird emerge from birdhouse

Woman on diet being chased by temptation.

Beware of highly intelligent but extremely savage dog.

You'll need all your energy when you get home.

"I can't believe I threw all that away for a Cox's pippin!"

"It makes me feel better about myself."

"Should I fix it or call it a water feature?"

Venting at Food Mart

'Just bag the groceries kid.'

'The gnome plays your brother? That's even weirder.'

"... And you said this was you and your husband's first time shopping at Costco?"

"If this company can make an herbal soda...there's no reason why I can't make and sell my own too!"

October: Brush all leaves into a neat pile to rot. They will make valuable plant food.

The G-nome Project (Mapping the genome).

'I think the postman has got lost again.'

'He really misses going fishing with his old friends.'

'We're out of peanut butter.'

"I think you've spent too much time in the garden during the lockdown."

'Why would I want a useless little man hanging around the garden when I've already married one!'

Spring

'My New Year's resolution is to eat more fruits and vegetables.'

'Is it my fault the supermarket trolley had a mind of its own?'

'Sometimes, you have to stop and smell the roses another dog has peed on.'

Gordon suspected the garden gnome didn't like him.

'I invited them in with a Tweet!'