Grocery Gnomes T-Shirts

"I hate when stores change things around - the cheese was always in this aisle."

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

We practically live out here in the summer.

Show and Tell.

Watering the garden gnome

The Perfect Garden.

"Ohh darling - how lovely..!!"

"I see you've brought your own bag."

Bird sees coo coo bird emerge from birdhouse

Woman on diet being chased by temptation.

Beware of highly intelligent but extremely savage dog.

You'll need all your energy when you get home.

"It makes me feel better about myself."

Die-hard soccer moms.

"I can't believe I threw all that away for a Cox's pippin!"

"Should I fix it or call it a water feature?"

Meat. No, I have no idea what the heck you just shoved in your mouth, I'm giving away toothpicks. Free samples.

"... And you said this was you and your husband's first time shopping at Costco?"

"If this company can make an herbal soda...there's no reason why I can't make and sell my own too!"

'Just bag the groceries kid.'

October: Brush all leaves into a neat pile to rot. They will make valuable plant food.

'The gnome plays your brother? That's even weirder.'

Venting at Food Mart

The G-nome Project (Mapping the genome).

"I think you've spent too much time in the garden during the lockdown."

'Why would I want a useless little man hanging around the garden when I've already married one!'

'He really misses going fishing with his old friends.'

'We're out of peanut butter.'

'My New Year's resolution is to eat more fruits and vegetables.'

'Is it my fault the supermarket trolley had a mind of its own?'

Spring

'I think the postman has got lost again.'

Tesco Litigation Dept - 'They're suing me for going to Sainsburys.'

'Sometimes, you have to stop and smell the roses another dog has peed on.'

Gordon suspected the garden gnome didn't like him.