Gourmet Garden Gnome Pillows

The Perfect Garden.

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

Stuffing the turkey.

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

Show and Tell.

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

Watering the garden gnome

" 'Unlimited salad bar' sounded better on the menu."

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

'Rover is sulking because he helped bag the goose and all he gets for dinner is dog food.'

Stand back - while I whip something up

"I certainly hope you're composting the leftovers."

'Are you sure you washed this salad?'

Animals looking at a map of the crops on a farm.

'STOP! You're injecting the wrong GMO gene!'

'How do they know it's breakfast time? It's your garden clock, birdbrain!'

Frisbee dog catching pizza dough

Bird sees coo coo bird emerge from birdhouse