Grizzled Office Escapee Gifts

I accepted an early retirement buy out and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

'The the President we've gone surfin', surfin' U,S,A,'

'Foster's here, regarding his raise sir. Shall I have him crawl in now, or let him sweat a while?'

Tired executive going into gym coming out gleaming

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

"If I've got to work for a tyrant . . . I may as well work for myself."

'I hear they're letting you go. Your family must have paid the ransom.'

Stress

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

"Quit daydreaming and get back to work."

That very night in Frank's office a forest grew.

'My phone number, Social Security number and Zip Code, just to buy gum? They didn't ask me that many questions when I joined the army.'

"Well, all I know is he left on vacation to unwind... and he never wound-up again!"

Cut and Run

'I'd like to come home... if I could.'

"I think it's important to have a hobby outside of work...mine is eating chocolate."

Man Looking Through Window

"I take it you're not heartbroken to be leaving the firm!"

'... But of course, if there's something more interesting outside.'

"Fielder, did you punch out?"

"There's corporate me and there's me, and, by God, we both know how to have fun."

'...I don't want people to get the impression that I'm so passionate about my work that I'll be taking it with me!...'

'Sorry to leave you in the lurch but this trip is important'

"How was your day?"

'I'm married to my job, and now it wants a trial separation!'

Elevator/Open Range

"This job is gonna eat me alive."

Frustrated at the office.

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

'Harland has never been away from his Blackberry this long.'

"I can't stand working in the office, but I don't mind the commute."

'It's no use. Even the mountains remind me of the office.'

"Let me guess. You had it up to here with the world of business, so you packed it all in and started your own winery."