Gritter Driver Gifts

'Can you spare a cup, for the bottom of my bird cage?'

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

Glue gun? Glitter? Dang it, I grabbed my crafting belt again.

Cats on Board.

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

'So much for your new Satnav!'

Doug fights back at soaring gas prices.

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

Three lanes of traffic with the first two lanes crowded with turtles. The third lane (to the left) a couple rabbits speeding along without any traffic. An easy pass sign has carrots replacing dollars.

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

Better times ahead.

Stop, Smell Roses (stop and smell the roses)

Lady about flat tire: 'It's not too bad - it's only flat on the bottom.'

Exit Next Left

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

Just drive in small circles, then drop me off by that bush. Poober.

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

'God's speed.'

"I'm pretty sure my self-driving car is moonlighting for Uber behind my back."

"Remember, when you back up, make that 'beep beep' sound."

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

"Yeah, a merry Christmas to you too."

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"