Grip Challenger Gifts

"Your swing's improving but we still need to work on your grip."

The Jeopardy of Progress

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

Secretive Weigh In.

Lawnmower

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"Plastic straws. No fish were spared in the making of this product."

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

AI

High Jump

"I don't care how sick you feel; don't drop it."

'Today I invested in some Chinese stocks, but I felt greedy again in an hour.'

"Keep it up. His knuckles are getting really sore"

"On the one hand, we'll burn in hell; on the other, that's a lot of money."

'How do you propose to repair the roof from down there?!'

'I intend to stay as CEO of this organisation come hell or high cholesterol.'

'...and when I did finally take out the trash, she locked the door behind me.'

"Alien life-form or not, those dishes won't wash themselves up!"

'What's with my cholesterol problem, Doc - all I eat is grass and grain!'

Define gravity! - Next Exit.

'Young lady, you're not going anywhere until you clean your lint trap!'

What will I do with it? It will never fit in the microwave.

'Such petulance!'

Spring cleaning.

Cat boxer

A man walks with a dog who has learnt to scoop his own poop.

Love Hate Computer Relationship

'Alright, gentlemen, I think we'll dispense with 'cheese'...'

"This is doing nothing for my abs."

"Your good cholesterol has come under the influence of your bad cholesterol."

'See a doctor. Your cholesterol is twice your weight.'

'Move over, buster -- affirmative action!'