Grilled Cheese Guru Gifts

"He's really healthy, except for the grilled cheese."

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"How can you be out of wings?"

Counting ribs

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Barbecuing Aprons For Today's Guys

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"I've just barbecued my head again."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"