Gridiron Junkie Pillows

College Football

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

Input From The Front Office

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

Mark Gastineau

"This guy's a terrific defensive lineman. I once saw him chase down a quakerback for nearly 40 yards before sacking him. It was in a shopping mall, but still..."

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

Rest in Peace Instant Replay

Snowman Football Fan.

"I'd say your pride trumps mine!!!" "Me, too!!!"

"What time is it?" "Half past World Cup."

'That was one of the most beautiful blocks I've ever seen; but you were supposed to carry the ball on that play.'

"Okay, he looks pretty stable – switch the middle screen back to the Superbowl."

Before instant replay.

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

I'm filling out my myface.com and I have a question. Rudy Park, tech genius, at your service. Should I pretend to be 10,12 or 26 years old? 32? I configure browsers, not fake personas! I think I'll play for the Broncos.

'We've got a personal hygiene foul! Number 70!... Fifteen yards!!'

"You're back! You're really back...!"

Vikings to the Super bowl.

'My knee's in rehab. This one's a loaner.'

'As you can see - it doesn't pay to badmouth the quarterback.'

'My turn! Kick me next!!'

Just as he was about to be annihilated, Dirk makes an amazing discovery,

'... I'll take the handoff to the tailback, then give the ball to my stunt double here, and he will dive head-first into the end zone.'

Once reintroduced back into the wild, most linebackers quickly adjust, forming packs and regaining hunting instincts that had lain dormant in captivity.

"I'm sure he was a great blocker when he was playing, but I doubt he'll be a great ad blocker."