Gridiron Groupie Pillows

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Plant Lady

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Theatre Crowd

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

Dynamite little combo

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

Input From The Front Office

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

"This guy's a terrific defensive lineman. I once saw him chase down a quakerback for nearly 40 yards before sacking him. It was in a shopping mall, but still..."

'On second thought dear, I think it's your turn to make breakfast.'

Mark Gastineau

Internet Cafe.

Robert Schumann

'Could you guys play a slow number so my gal and I can dance?'

Rest in Peace Instant Replay

Snowman Football Fan.

'I have Tourette's, and they play backup.'

'That was one of the most beautiful blocks I've ever seen; but you were supposed to carry the ball on that play.'

"Okay, he looks pretty stable – switch the middle screen back to the Superbowl."

'We've had an application from No.10 Downing Street. . . they need to extend their cabinet room.'

'We've got a personal hygiene foul! Number 70!... Fifteen yards!!'

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

Before instant replay.

"If they shorten political campaigns, what will we do for entertainment?"