Green-thumbed Storyteller T-Shirts

'It' really nothing - we're just doing a bit of recycling.'

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

The Environmentalist

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

The Music Seed

Okay, dig that one up!

Dragon Recycling the Knights it has defeated

"Oh no, it's Flash Garden!"

Two 'superheros' show the discrepancy in toilet paper production.

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

If you left the window open and the light on when I was little, the room would fill with insects...

"You're overprotective. Stop telling her not to go out on a limb."

Polar Bear Paparazzi.

The Perfect Garden.

"We used your unsold copies to build a tree, but it's not the same."

'What did you do with the apple I gave you yesterday?'

"We all agree something should be done and someone else should do it."

"You make me feel 'hole'."

"Yes, I can remember when it was nothing but forest land as far as you could see."

"Well Virginia, thanks to climate change there isn't a Santa Claus anymore."

'Was this eye of newt locally sourced?'

'Of course the scientists have got this all wrong about climate change.'

"It's powered by clean hydroelectricity from Norwegian fjords and built from 100% recycled shopping bags. We call it the Smugmobile!"

'That's not whitewash....that's detergent!'

Ernie got up on the wrong side of the garden bed again.

"He's being retrained."

"Do you have anything less - green?"

Icarus flies into a wind turbine

'I can't seem to renew my interest in renewables.'

'Mom, it's doing it again'

Customers seek Alyssum in Garden Centre.

Gardening Terminology: Freezia

"Lily, Rose, this is Violet."

"My biggest problem is squatters."