Green Thumb Storyteller T-Shirts

Man on holiday sending his plants a postcard

Prize vegetables.

Allotment

"First time pruning?"

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

Greenfingers.

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

The Garden

F&E Nursery. I've heard that plants have intelligence. Give me your smartest plant. A cactus is the sharpest plant around!

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

"I can't make it out - on the packet it said radishes."

"Hey! Plants are on sale again! Woo-hoo!"

Couple using thier new garden hose in the rain

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

"Mulch madness"

'I've found a spade I like Julia...'

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

Man transplants plant in his garden.

"You must have a green thumb."

Garden seeds - giant varieties

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A Garden Part 9

'There are some good things about a vegetable garden. Dirt at your fingertips, for instance.'

"I'm feeling somewhat optimistic. Let's get perennials."

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

"Every year about this time...Tia Carmen gets back to her roots."

A gardener potting up sun loving and shade loving seedlings.

Tree's Tree Nursery. Get this. Dad is selling those goofy upside-down tomato planters. What idiot would buy them? Thanks! I'll let you know how it works! My idiotic bio teacher.

'I don't know who he is...but he roto-tilled my entire yard and never even stopped to let me thank him!'

"Spring is definitely here! Which means yard work is not far behind...."

The Gardener's Calendar: Get Your Mower Out of The Shed.