Green Thumb Avoider Gifts

Women look out at overgrown garden as man reads sports section. Wife says: 'He reckons he can't mow it as he's turned it into a wildlife reserve.'

Prize vegetables.

The Busy Gardener

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

What are you giving Mother Earth this year?

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

Deforestation.

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

Homegrown solutions for a smaller carbon footprint.

"First time pruning?"

Doing the borders.

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

Cat Nip.

Gardener

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

Florabation - '..mmm...It must be spring!'

Horti-Culture

Yardless: Please help

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Garden Goddess.

Planting seeds in garden - broad beans and jelly beans.

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

Endangered wildlife 'Lost' posters stuck on trees surrounded by rubbish

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...