Green Queen Gifts

'Would it be possible to have my husband recycled?'

"I think we might have taken the recycling a bit too far!"

"Our target is to reach net zero by 2035."

"That little hypocrite's done that with a felt-tip made from plastic!"

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

Burger Queen: The Patriarchy is Dead.

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

100% carbon neutral

A woman wearing a skin sitting behind a desk with a nameplate that reads "Sheena, Queen of the corporate jungle."

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

Dragon Recycling the Knights it has defeated

"You see? I told you if we tied ourselves to this tree they wouldn't cut it down. Persistence is the name of the game. Persistence."

Did you let the global warming skeptics into eco club? Yeah. It went fine. We agreed to work on today's environmental problems. We don't have to wait 50 years to clean up toxic waste dumps! Amen.

Let's check out our dress options for the eco prom. Excellent idea. Google "green prom dresses." I bet there are tons of ideas. You're right. Lime, kelly, forest

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

'Anybody for breakfast?'

The Royal Wii

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

'My mom bakes from scratch -- she's a full-service mom.'

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

'I've got another loose tooth - It's not your cooking is it mum?'

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'

Methane Emissions

"Look at this terrible mess! Let's all roll up our sleeves and clean it up!"

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

'Aaaga! I'm melting! I'm melting!'

The last bird in the last wood...