Green Queen Gifts

'Would it be possible to have my husband recycled?'

"I think we might have taken the recycling a bit too far!"

"Our target is to reach net zero by 2035."

"That little hypocrite's done that with a felt-tip made from plastic!"

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

100% carbon neutral

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

A woman wearing a skin sitting behind a desk with a nameplate that reads "Sheena, Queen of the corporate jungle."

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

Dragon Recycling the Knights it has defeated

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

'Anybody for breakfast?'

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

"You see? I told you if we tied ourselves to this tree they wouldn't cut it down. Persistence is the name of the game. Persistence."

The Royal Wii

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

'My mom bakes from scratch -- she's a full-service mom.'

'I've got another loose tooth - It's not your cooking is it mum?'

'I'm getting ready as fast as I can, and for the last time, it's a vanity table, not a 'workstation'.'

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

"Look at this terrible mess! Let's all roll up our sleeves and clean it up!"

'Aaaga! I'm melting! I'm melting!'

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'

The last bird in the last wood...

Methane Emissions

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

Stand back - while I whip something up