Green Office Humorist Gifts

The Ultimate Green Office!

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

'It's an extinction notice.'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

The new green legislature requires methane mitigation.

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

'...and this is the water garden...'

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

The Joshua Tree

This is where Brent council sends you

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

"This is a terrible table!"

'It's self cleaning, and runs on natural gas.'

Shipwrecked with an environmentalist.

"You're not helping the methane problem, you know."

"Rising sea levels."

'There! another batch of clean coal.'

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

...and there's no shortage of natural gas!

You Are Here.

Perfect solution. Free street lighting, and we sell the surplus to the national grid.

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

'What we have to do is utilize some pollution control equipment in our manufacturing of pollution control equipment.'

We've gotten all we can with traditional drilling techniques. What do you know about fracking?

Just think! If the mall goes bust, what happens to all that paved-over land? Save our mall. We could roll up the asphalt and start a huge nature preserve. What about current wildlife? Hmm�You're right. I don't think the endangered species act covers mall rats.

'It is fuel efficient, but my ego feels crunched.'

'The only problem with solar powered air conditioners is finding a long enough extension cord.'

"I'm doing my part to conserve electricity."

An snail shell with a chimney

'It's true! Our clothes, the curtains, the carpeting in the waiting room... they're all made out of recycled dental floss!'

"Let's not migrate, and just say we did.;"

'It's not you...it's your carbon footprint!'