Green Machine Gifts

Car Emissions

No pollution! It's a good day to get my eco-nut sister's present. What is it? Something she's agitated for all year. Where are we going? Here's good. She's so lucky. Not everyone gets fresh air for Christmas!

Bus driver says to passenger: 'This IS a green bus, but that doesn't mean you can recycle your ticket.'

Rare earths are the key to a greenwashed, technotopian future

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Rudolph goes green (compact flourescent nose)

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

Crane operator Jimmy Morrison liked to break in new guys by giving them what he called a 'sky wedgie.'

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

Congratulations on your retirement!

Environmentalist Brainstorm

'And the best thing about this electric thermal underwear is, no batteries, it's solar!'

'It runs on batteries. I'm trying to become more green.'

Look! There's a photo of our eco club's Earth Day actions in the newspaper! Sports. Power up the green machine!! I could use more copies. Me too. They're going to really power up my college applications.

"How about this? We carpet the road and use the resultant static electricity to power our electric cars."

Natural gas

The secret thoughts of smart machines.

Solar Power.

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

A Fork-lift.

'...the downside, of course, is that I can't get the damn thing in the garage.'

"Hurray! We've solved global warming!"

Bagging the Chipmunk

Lionel Messi

'Fuel efficient automobiles.'

"Have you tried turning it off and on?"

How to Rise with the Sun

A planet like ours - Bandit machine in a reactor.

A cheese grader

"Hey, listen! Next time you break down on a week-end, okay? I get twice the money plus weekend plus weekend surcharge and we divide fifty-fifty, deal?"

'Another advantage is the humming and whirring, which is so much more plasant than chalk screeching on a blackboard.'

"And then they came out with a desktop model."

Kids hiding plug to giant machine.

Guzzle-guzzle-guzzle

ROBOT EMPLOYMENT AGENCY, 'We don't have much on hand right now --how'd you like to be a Pez dispenser?'