Green Jacket Hopeful Gifts

'Spend all morning on a cryptorchidectomy...'

The Endless Battle of the Organic Gardener

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

I think you're ace

"Bob! Your manure's here!"

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

Dragon Recycling the Knights it has defeated

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

-A garden uses a lot of water. -Most of it perspiration.

'I remember when all this was fields.'

"Plastic straws. No fish were spared in the making of this product."

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

'The ball never goes where I hit it.'

'Don't you think it's time you tackled the wandering dew?'

'Listen up troop. We're going on a treasure hunt.'

Showing gardening tools to a tower block.

Fenwick, while I'm away I'm putting you in charge of the plant.

"Oh no, it's Flash Garden!"

'He's made an eco-friendly bamboo bike... unfortunately all the tomato plants have fallen down.'

If we build raised beds and a compost bin now

New Planning Body in beauty spot - 'Nice spot for our HQ...'

'See I told you the garden was big enough for a table and chairs.'

"What are you growing?"

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

'Now that should make it a lot easier.'

"Tell us the truth - it was you pedaling all the time, wasn't it?"

This plant is a lousy malingerer!

In the houseplant cemetery.

At the golf detox clinic.

'I'm in a lot of trouble, but it's worth it. There's not enough dirt left to grow spinach.'

'Those showy blooms are very susceptible to pests.'