Green Jacket Hopeful T-Shirts

'Spend all morning on a cryptorchidectomy...'

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

The Endless Battle of the Organic Gardener

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

I think you're ace

"Bob! Your manure's here!"

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

Dragon Recycling the Knights it has defeated

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

'I remember when all this was fields.'

-A garden uses a lot of water. -Most of it perspiration.

'Don't you think it's time you tackled the wandering dew?'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

'The ball never goes where I hit it.'

"Plastic straws. No fish were spared in the making of this product."

'Listen up troop. We're going on a treasure hunt.'

Showing gardening tools to a tower block.

'He's made an eco-friendly bamboo bike... unfortunately all the tomato plants have fallen down.'

Fenwick, while I'm away I'm putting you in charge of the plant.

"Oh no, it's Flash Garden!"

New Planning Body in beauty spot - 'Nice spot for our HQ...'

'See I told you the garden was big enough for a table and chairs.'

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

"What are you growing?"

'Now that should make it a lot easier.'

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

In the houseplant cemetery.

"Tell us the truth - it was you pedaling all the time, wasn't it?"

This plant is a lousy malingerer!

'I'm in a lot of trouble, but it's worth it. There's not enough dirt left to grow spinach.'

At the golf detox clinic.

'Those showy blooms are very susceptible to pests.'

The not-so-living wall