Green Initiatives Thinker Gifts

'Big bonuses are just our way of going green.'

Rare earths are the key to a greenwashed, technotopian future

The Audacity of Fake Environmental Hope

Nature versus commerce.

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

"I do miss trees but I don't miss the raking."

Genetic modification creating plastic from plant cellulose.

Don't let the woodcutters get too close or they'll make a fuel out of you!

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

"Matthew, did we agree to adopt a whale?"

Sea weed harvest.

'It's a bold initiative but I don't think it's right for the staff kitchen.'

Nuclear generation of energy.

Global Warming Coming Soon!

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

"Would it kill you to compost?"

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'Have you done something to your air? You look different?'

"Sorry, Rudolph, but the production on electric reindeers and their batteries gives work to thousands of children while you destroy the climate with your farts."

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, does it make a sound?"

Another environmentally correct office product: The executive desk/organizer-fish ladder

A globe detaches itself from its stand and falls into a rubbish bin in the offices of the (fictional) Institute of Environmental Forecasting

Climate Change -- You are here.

Deforestation.

"I came to save you, but everything I can think to do seems like it wouldn't actually make that much of a difference."

'There's a renewable source the government should use.'

'We are an environmentally sensitive organization. We will have to do a background check on the size of your carbon footprint before we can make an offer of employment.'

'An aerosol? Are you sure you've thought this through?'

'Look on the bright side: now we qualify for an energy-conservation award.'

"At least their bull sessions are green. Everything they say is 100% biodegradable."

'It's only now that we've chopped down all of the trees that we can see the damage we've done'

The Ship of Fools. The earth as a ship, heading for destruction as people party, oblivious to the danger

"Some day, son, all this will be yours. Sorry."