Green Consumerism Gifts

"The most moral consumer - Didn't shop at Walmart - Didn't order things on Amazon unless it was, like, an emergency - Tried to be vegan - Always had an extra canvas bag in her car (which was a hybrid, by the way)"

"Good For You / Bad For You"

Nature versus commerce.

But is it organic?

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"We're odd looking but just as good."

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

See you at the farmers market!

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

Price may vary with weather.

"I love finding my food at the Farmers Market. Makes me feel like a true pioneer."

"Plastic straws. No fish were spared in the making of this product."

Stuffing the turkey.

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

"Secondhand books, reheated coffee"

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

Pets: This animal has not been tested on products.

"Do you carry any shampoos that have been tested on little kittens?"

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

'Yes, the wood on this pencil is from a renewable source.'

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

'Could I have the traditional Christmas dinner but without meat or dairy and could guarantee it's organic and GM free.'

It all began with free-range chicken. Then it was organic vegetables. Next the farmers decided they should all take a year off to go find themselves.

'These fruits and vegetables are very colorful, large, free of blemishes, pulpy and tasteless.'